Tag: creativity

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Okay. So upon rereading my Far From Perfect, post I am struck with a combination of both shame and scrappiness. Not that the things I listed are untrue, but they are definitely one-sided – my exhausted, frustrated, doom-and-gloom side. In reality, there are manymanymany good things to balance the bad out – like making time to do fun things with my children, like making time to be creative again, like making time for hot baths and cool music and tasty food and amazing friends. Though this week has been far from ideal in the sleep department, I have managed to grab a few larger bits here and there, and as such, have gotten a bit more perspective. Thank goodness.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m pretty much in “survival mode” right now (i.e. make sure we are all fed, watered, dressed, sheltered, and safe…period), and that I can’t possibly do everything – even at the best of times. With that frame of mind, I picked up Kelly Rae’s book again and forced myself to get past Chapter 1. So what if I can’t get all introspective and dreamy right now? Who the heck cares? It doesn’t mean that I can’t still learn from the book, does it? No. No, it does not. In fact, I’m using it like one might use a cookbook, and it has inspired me to try out some new techniques – even if they’re not necessarily in the spirit of self-discovery and personal growth, as the book had intended.

Taking Flight, by Kelly Rae Roberts.

I’m actually mid-way through working on a collage right now, and I’ll be sure to post the results when I’m done. But it’s been exceptionally freeing to just set myself aside for a bit, and focus on somebody else’s work. This process actually reminded me of one of my first year art classes where every week, we would have to copy a well known artist’s work to the best of our abilities. We would have to chose a piece, analyze the materials used, how the marks were made, the “feel” of the image, etc… and then try to duplicate all of it – even the signature. Standing on the shoulders of giants and all that. It was a great way to practice without having to concern yourself with being “original” or “creative” or whatever. Here are a few of the ones I did, paired with photocopies of the originals.

Van Dongen

Gustav Klimt

Pablo Picasso

Unknown

Egon Schiele

So, yeah. It’s been a breakthrough of sorts. It’s gotten me working again without me having to stretch too far beyond my capabilities, and it feels good to just play. Not that I would ever fully adopt someone else’s style as my own and try to profit from it, but it is a great feeling to admire somebody’s work and then to be able to create something similar that you enjoy as well. There is an irony to all of it, however. I was just reading Kelly Rae’s blog the other day. She just recently had a baby and has had to set aside her artistic endeavours to embrace motherhood full on. Fancy that. It’s been a tough journey, though, as it turns out that baby True has recently been found to have INFANT ACID REFLUX. Ah, universe. You and your wacky ways.

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Friday, August 6th, 2010

Time For Some Words

Okay. So, right as The August Break was starting, I had a little breakdown myself…well, of my ego at least. One night, as I was rocking the baby to sleep and mulling over ideas for posts, I started thinking about the concept of “drive” – that insatiable urge to get stuff done that some people just seem to have. You can call it a Type A Personality, you can call it ambition, you can call it Maurice for all that it matters. The end result is that these people – no matter what their level of talent or their inherent “luck” genes – well, they get stuff DONE. They are “somebody*s” in their respective fields.

Melissa

Track 5 – “You Can Sleep While I Drive”. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I started thinking about all of the people I know who fall into this category – whether they are in the arts, the business community, or both – and quite honestly, it left me feeling somewhat like a failure. I mean, yes, I have wonderful family and friends, a lovely home and garden, and I’ve done some pretty cool stuff in my time, if I do say so – and I am grateful for these things, truly. But. Many-many things on my bucket list have fallen by the wayside. I am nowhere near the person that I thought I would be by this time (not that envisioning “future me*s” has ever been an easy task, but I had some ideas), and it got me wondering why.

Well, I’ve outgrown some of them – like trying snowboarding and having a darkroom, for example. It’s not that I couldn’t do these things, but the person I am now really has no interest in pursuing them, and I am okay with just letting them go. Some of them are definitely “sacrifices” – things that I have to let go of because I am part of a family now, and they don’t fit in with our “team vision”. No, wait. I choose to let them go, because my family is far more important to me than driving around in a VW Van or living in a loft are. And who knows, when the boys are grown and if these are still things I am interested in, then there may still be time to achieve them. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Loft

Me “dream” loft – designed and constructed with balsa wood by me (the upper “bed and bath” level have been removed) circa 1992.

Which leaves the rest…which just haven’t happened. Moving to the coast, vacationing in Italy, going to “art school”, and so on. Not that these can’t happen, but the clock is seriously ticking, and life always seems to get in the way. Much of the time, it feels like whenever I do make a plan, “the universe” steps in and sets me on a different path entirely. And though I have happened upon a great many amazingly wonderful things this way – I am “married with kids” for goodness sake, which was totally NOT part of the plan – I fear I am simply just not driven enough to achieve some of the crazy dreams that I dream.

Now, on the day of my little meltdown, the fatalist in me was thinking “Why bother dreaming at all then, if I am just going to get rerouted anyhow? And seriously, what kind of character flaw do I possess when I’m afraid to even dream, or ask for help achieving the things I truly want? Why is it that I feel so unworthy of, well, pretty much everything I can think of right now?” Cue the tears. (Even now, as I am writing in retrospect, I am getting a little verklempt…what’s up with that?) Thank goodness that my amazing husband stepped in at this point and talked some sense into me. If there’s one thing I truly love about our relationship is that we take turns being the “sane” one.

Family

My amazingly wonderful boys – I am a lucky lady, indeed.

As mothers (and maybe even as women, period), oftentimes we get so wrapped up in nurturing others that we forget about ourselves. Part of why I started this blog in the first place was to gently remind myself to make time for myself and my creativity every day. I am trying to think of my mini-crisis as a reminder that I just need to start working on the “where I want to end up” part now. Looking at all of the other wonderful blogs out there has been both a blessing and a curse for this. It is so easy to hold ourselves up to the “successful” people out there and chastise ourselves for not being one of them instead of being inspired by their greatness to also do great things. I guess you just have to remember that everyone has to start somewhere. And with that, I am going to spend nap time today doing a little dreaming.

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Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Limits to Creativity

Some people believe that there are zero bounds to human creativity. That the human brain is capable of infinite and wondrous things, if only we allow ourselves to believe. To free ourselves. To GO for it, man! Just look around at books like best seller  “The Secret”. The self-help shelves these days are filled with tomes proposing that we can all create unlimited health, wealth, happiness – anything we want – with nothing more than our positive thoughts. Really? Anything? What a bunch of hooey.

The Secret

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for using your brain power for good. I fully believe that we CAN manifest a great many incredible things by manipulating the way we think and how we act. I do it all the time. Seriously. But to suggest that this sort of thing is limitless is completely ridiculous. I mean, there is absolute no way for me to become the first black American president. Period.

Just look at the Millennial generation who grew up being told they could be anything they wanted…that everybody wins…that everyone should be accepted and included no matter what. How’s that going for us? Entitled much? Grow up, Peter Pan. Great things take work. Lots of honest and hard work. (10,000 hours perhaps.) There’s no secret in that.

As I mentioned yesterday, there are several limitations to being a creative stay-at-home-mom. Time… energy… endless duties and responsibilities… even things as mundane as the weather can affect how you create. But this is exactly how it should be! Just like children need boundaries and rules to learn how to confidently navigate their way through the world, the creative person needs certain limitations as well. If only to be forced to figure out how to rise above them – to think “outside of the box”. And then to GO there. That, my friends, is the mark of a true genius.

With that in mind, I must rise above my current situation. I may not be able to spend more than “nap time” on any given day devoted to my creations. I may not be able to stray beyond the sound of the baby monitor most of the time. And I may not be able to take advantage of inspiration the exact moment that it strikes (if I’m lucky enough to enjoy it’s presence at all). But I’m not going to let that stop me. Because where would I be if I didn’t even try?

And thus, while heading to pick up my son from school, I decide to take the alley route instead of the usual sidewalk. And I am lucky enough to find somebody’s old furniture abandoned for trash.

Captive Dandelion

Perhaps the dandelion is rising above it’s current situation too.

I certainly have a long way to go before hitting genius, there’s no doubt. But at least it’s a start. Even if it is just in my own back yard.

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Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

Multitasking Moms Unite! And While You’re At It, Could You Also…

One of the biggest challenges facing creative stay-at-home-moms is trying to make good use of your “free time”. My hilarious friend Jenny just wrote a couple of articles about this time crunch relating to productivity and housework, and it’s got me thinking about the topic a lot. Just how *do* I find the time to get everything done?

Making efficient use of my “other” time tops the list – attacking chores with a sense of purpose, grocery shopping at break-neck speeds, running a bunch of errands within the same trip, that sort of thing. And while I’m doing these things, I am now thinking about future projects or mulling over ideas rather than zoning out to the “Imagination Movers” theme song for the umpteenth time. I no longer flip on the TV while I fold laundry, nor do I go and check Facebook as a reward for unloading the dishwasher. Unless I’ve gotten something creative done for the day, that is.

Asking for help is a biggie too (my husband’s cousin comes over weekly to help out with the kids so I can have a bigger block of “me time”). As is cultivating independence in my children (both the one- and the six-year-old can play quietly by themselves for short periods of time, and have been doing so since they’ve been able to sit up alone). Making lists, letting go of my “expectations of perfection” (regarding cleanliness and weeds), and general multitasking round things out. And so, when nap time finally rolls around, I can send the eldest off to play and head into the garden to do this sort of thing…

Irises

Irises in the garden.

Yellow Daisy

Daisy in the birdbath.

Peony Heart

Peony petals on the gravel path.

Giving myself permission to play is also huge. And I don’t mean “play with the kids”, I mean play creatively. For ME. Allowing myself to be selfish and take the time “away” from my responsibilities – even if only for a few minutes here and there – is one of the hardest things for me to do. But I’m getting over that.

Of course, one of the limitations that comes with being a creative mommy is that I no longer have the luxury of playing or exploring “when my muse calls”. If I happen upon some perfect lighting or stumble upon a crafty “ah-ha” moment, for example, I have to bank them for future use – when the baby is sleeping or otherwise cared for. Creativity itself is becoming more of an act of delayed gratification – an exercise in working diligently when I have the chance to, and hoping that the inspiration comes during that time. Kind of like hitting the genius snooze button, as the case may be.

Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. I was playing with the flowers in the garden yesterday, trying to create pictures that told a story rather than just showed off the beauty of the flowers, and in the brief moments before the rain began to fall, this is what happened.

Irises on Chair

A gift.

Petals in a Pool

Love soup.

I’m not completely thrilled with them, but there’s only so much you can do with limited time and resources. Not to mention Calgary’s temperamental weather. Maybe, if I get some more time to play today, I can try to improve on them. Oh, look. It’s raining again. Huh. Well, maybe I’ll just have to let them go for now and move on to something else. I mean, what else is a girl to do?

P.S. For those of you keeping track, the “Z’Other” gallery page has also been constructed and posted for your viewing pleasure.

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Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Welcome to KateWares!

Around the time I started living in my own houses, I began hosting an annual “Christmas Open House & Craft Sale”.  For that one day a year, I would throw open the doors and let whomever was interested come on over, grab a cup of homemade hot apple cider, and paruse my wares. If there was time, we would sit and chat about life…and crafting…and Christmas. If there wasn’t, we’d briefly wish each other a happy holiday, share a hug, and be on our respective ways.

Open House

A Christmas Open House & Craft Sale at KateWares.

Well, after my two boys were born, hosting such events became a logistical nightmare. Not only was is difficult to find the time to make wares to display, but I couldn’t imagine having to also get the house (and the boys) ready for a day of often hurried and unpredictable visits. It was just too much stress during an already stressful time. I mean, if I was lucky, I might squeeze in hosting a table at a craft fair or something, but that’s about it. And yet, a part of me was always missing them every time Santa rolled into town.

And then…there was cyberspace.  With the securing of the domain “katewares” and the encouragement of my uber-supportive husband “Tupper”, my bucket list goal of setting up my own website was soon becoming a reality. I began paying more attention to the blogs of my friends (see the accompanying blogroll to the right). I started thinking about what it was, exactly, that I wanted to share (and doubting myself – but that’s another story). And then…I took a deep breath, and all at once, embarked on this exciting (and what I hope will be wonderful) new adventure.

So…welcome! Consider this my daily invitation to come on over, grab yourself a cup of cider, and paruse away. If you have the time, let’s sit and chat about life, crafting, and the Christmas-like joy of creativity (which is why I’ve already published a few posts for you to wander through). Or maybe you’d prefer to quickly explore my past works and move on (see the “Gallery” above – parts of which are still under construction I’m afraid, but oh, well). Hey, that’s fine too. In any case, I hope you enjoy your time here and I look forward to where ever this journey may lead us both.

Apple Cider

A hot and delicious cup of cider -  just for you! (Note to self: photo shoots of consumable yummies are good!!!)

If you are at all interested in receiving updates about new posts, please join my Facebook fan page for KateWares,  Ha! Look at me doing something creative.

;)

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